What I Learned From My Mustache

Recently, I grew out my mustache. I don't really know why. Maybe I felt that a man can never really know himself until he grows some serious facial hair. Or maybe I just felt like it.
I learned a few things from my time with a furry upper lip, and I'd like to share them with you.
A strong mustache somehow gives a man a sense of entitlement...like it has some sort of magical property that gives him power over others. Maybe that's why so many cops and highway patrolmen grow mustaches.

A strong mustache somehow gives a man a sense of entitlement

Second...people notice a man with a mustache. I felt like everywhere I went, people were looking (a little longer than usual). I guess maybe it made me feel special, but in a weird way. Like I was an animal at the zoo.
I felt sexier with my manly lip mane. I know I probably wasn't any sexier (than usual), but the 'stache boosted my self-confidence.
Third...it's not THAT hard to keep food out of your mustache. You just have to be a little more cautious when eating.
Last thing I learned from my mustache...women HATE mustaches!

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